Old Comix II

Cadwallader Cacomistle: A Uniquely Bad Situation
Cadwallader Cacomistle: "There's Sand in My Stylus"
Cadwallader Cacomistle: Late.
The Matchbook Boys Take On a Ham Sandwich
Dahlia DeMatic, Ct. Psy.: Xmas San Tropa, Land of Opportunity
...trees when they're pretty."
Sombody Make Me a Samich
Thank You for the Fab Xmas Card
The Matchbook Boys Do a Chemist
Cadwallader Cacomistle: Powerful Paranoia
The Evil Castle of Doctor Pineapple Boy
Go Away
Toejam & Earl 2011
Are You Okay?

Old Comix I

Easter Island
Jack Montezuma in "A Visit to the Circle K"
Jack Chronos Visits a Space Brothel
Chicken Boy in "Gossip in the Cantina"
Hello! Preamble: A Ha Ha Funny Joke 4 U
The Unhappy Nerd
Dipsy Dwarf & the Fun Friends Club
Buckaroo McFuckladen Is the BOMB!
Where Are You?

THESE ARE THE ADVENTURES OF INDIANA NICK !!!

Once there was a brave explorer named Indiana Nick. He was climbing up a mountain when he saw a cave. He saw millions of bats and they were vampire bats. He pulled out his sword and chopped them to bits, but the very last one turned into a real vampire! …and Indiana Nick cut the skin off and the bones formed a skeleton. He chopped the head off but out of the eyes came rattlesnakes! Then he used his invisible poison shield and since their poison wasn’t used, the Great Rattlesnake Master trapped them in a net on a tree limb and he put a mirror in the net too and the rattlesnakes rattled their rattles and shook the mirror and it flew into the rattlesnakes’ mouths. Then the snakes poisoned themselves. Back in the cave Indiana Nick fell in a hole and he landed in an underground sea and there he was sitting in a ship. There were lots of pirates aboard the ship! When they saw him a fight broke out and then Indiana Nick pulled out his mighty sword and chopped all the pirates in half right through their belts! Then Indiana Nick was in control of the ship. Then he fought with a dragon and fell through a whirlpool and fell back where he started and found the cave boarded up. He walked back to his cabin in the forest but on the way back he was a giant hole. Right on the edge he grabbed a rope that was tied to a tree and he swung across. And you know where he landed? Right through the roof of his cabin. That’s all!!

Join us next time for another adventure of Indiana Nick!!!

[written in 1987]

Snakes and Samurai on a Plane

Lethal snakes have been released on board a commercial airliner. In the confusion, an executive of the Turner Broadcasting corporation and his entourage of evil samurai bodyguards take control of the plane, declaring martial law and forcing the pilot to land on a tiny, uninhabited island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. As the passengers mill around on the beach and tend to the wounded, the executive makes a speech commanding them all to "swear allegiance to Ted Turner." The samurai line them up and direct them to sexually service them or else be hacked to pieces.
One of the passengers is a lone samurai who happened to be flying on the plane with his two young children. He prays for forgiveness as he solemnly decapitates them with his katana in order to protect their honor. He does not weep.
Meanwhile, nurse Juliana Margulies explains to someone else that she has found a crate of Dubble Bubble bubble gum in the cargo hold, and she believes that it may be useful as an antivenom to treat snakebites. However, she is also concerned that the bubble gum may contain a "blood pox," which would be deadly.

my numerical/chromatic synaesthesia

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

(inspired by this blog post.)

cartoon classiks

I don't think I've posted this one before. Art Ant and Doggie are two of the very first characters I ever invented. Art (who I've redesigned a bit here from his original stick-figure incarnation) has a magic pencil that can draw real, tangible objects in thin air...I think I stole that from "Harold and His Purple Crayon"...who kind of stole it from Felix the Cat cartoons, so who cares. Doggie was my attempt at doing a Garfield-style "sassy housepet" character. He has a friendly nemesis named Catt not pictured here. I Hate You was the generic title of a series of comics I tried to do around the same time, about people getting served with slams and put-downs and whatnot. Someone, I think my Mom, said it wasn't a nice title, so I changed it to Heartburn. Sometime I think I'd like to resurrect all these ideas, I guess because I've got a thing for old, bad ideas.

pirahnas