The NYYAAAARRRest Story Ever Told

I'm standing in a holodeck with my dungeon master, discussing the hypothetical powers of a Big Bird kaiju. He calls one up that is enormous and terrifying, charcoal gray with glittering gold veins and pterosaur wings. Big Bird's familiar face is locked in a pupil-less grimace, like some ancient stone god, and he screams like Godzilla as he glides over a simulation of a 1960's Japanese port town.

The rest of the players show up for tonight's game session. We're role playing a anime-style adventure. The DM has programmed the holodeck to transform us into a group of futuristic bounty hunters, à la Cowboy Bebop. I'm a bushy-haired film noir type in a shabby suit, and there's a burly cyborg, an annoying boy genius, a treacherous femme fatale and a goth-y android girl. The corrupt corporate kleptocrat rulers of the solar system call us a "terrorist cell," and we do what we can to bring them down, one by one.

Tonight's mission is a raid on a massive space station casino that's controlled by the mob. Our group has split up into three teams, leaving the android girl and me alone in an elevator. She seems depressed about something, so I make some kind of lame joke. She laughs weakly, then tells me that she has just initiated a sequence that will erase her own mind. She promptly drops to the floor, eyes vacant.

"She killed herself!" I yell, grief-stricken and pissed off.

The tragedy of the goth-droid's suicide causes the already fragile bonds of trust and camaraderie between our group's members to disintegrate, and so after a bit of infighting we agree to disband forever. I solemnly slip the girl's cracked anime goggles in my pocket as a memento, but I could care less if I ever see that irritating computer hacker kid or the rest of them again. Thus concludes our RPG campaign.

After the other players have left, the DM shows me a second version of the Big Bird kaiju he cooked up at some point during the game session. This one is kind of disappointingly small compared to the first one.