hard to remember

obvious

drawn at work

Goober

I'm playing a computer game. It's a simulation of a family soap opera, kind of like The OC. I'm playing the part of the teenage son. The current plot involves a psycho killer lurking in the neighborhood. One day I find a knife on the kitchen counter, but because the game is set to PG-mode, the "blood" on the knife is just peanut butter. A day or two later, there's party going on in the house, and I'm just wandering around by myself looking for clues. I find another, bigger knife in the kitchen, this time covered with huge globs of peanut butter and jelly.

I hear the front door open. Mom and Dad are home. They walk into the house together, laughing, arms around each other. As I watch from the kitchen, the broom closet door swings open, and a crazy-eyed, scruffy vagrant stumbles out, muttering to himself, looking disoriented. He pushes past my parents and walks out of the house. Mom and Dad are quiet as this happens, but as soon as he walks out their eyes are wide with terror and they move away from the door. Seconds later the nut returns, emits a feral growl and begins slashing away at Dad with a ten-inch knife.

I lose awareness of my body, and am helpless to do anything but watch and listen to my parents' screams. The knife goes in and out of Dad's body over and over again, each time at a different, novel angle, and prompting a subtly different scream or gurgle from my father, but because of the game's child-protection there is no blood. The blade comes out of Dad's body clean and shiny each time, even when it goes all the way through his neck and comes out the other side.

The slasher, up until now wearing some sort of shabby sweatsuit, suddenly runs into a closet and emerges a second later in an ill-fitting Superman costume. He yells that he wants to feel my father's "death-spasms," then resumes his attack. Hysterical with fear and rage, my mother tries to fend him off by bludgeoning him with household appliances. At one point he stumbles and falls head-first into the toilet, but he keeps getting back up with some kind of bezerker, possibly drug-induced endurance. After several minutes of this, I see my father's body start to seize up and shake uncontrollably.

Stumptown Comics Fest 2006

I see they have the name of my website spelled correctly now, so I feel comfortable announcing that in late October Mr. Annabi and I will be making our comic convention debut at Portland's Stumptown Comics Fest. I've never actually attended a comic con (or "fest") before, and I've definitely never exhibited. So if you're in the area or just insane, we hope you'll check us out. And by that I mean have sex with us. Hopefully my sore throat will be gone by then. Maybe I'll just take some drugs. *HACK COUGH*

Dahlia, age 17

T-9's Liquid Diner #002: Modern Don Juan

In episode two we send a manned probe to the planet Venus.

[download me]

01. "you talk of sweeties, bashful sweeties"
02. "if you're so smart, how come you don't know?"
03. (foreshadowing)
04. "what am I? some kind of a bananafish?"
05."you learn real fast through the smartest girl in town"
06. "I'd burn all the ASK ME buttons"
07. (overture)
08. "now I'm standing on the corner, everyone looks great to me"
09. STROBE LIGHT
10. (adagio)
11. "I used to delve in scientific data..."
12. "Romeo was restless, he was ready to kill"
13. "I ain't nothin' but a man in love"

I ain't afraid of no GHOST

trying hard not to notice
sometimes you succeed
sometimes you don't
and then everything looks like disjointed dots
that you can't help but connect
la la la la

we need to talk
what's going on buddy
your numbers are down
they need to be up
or else

step on my foot
no don't even apologize
just push past
oh christ
you took my wallet

who wants pie?
seriously
who needs that shit
who gets to have pie stuffed down their goddamn throat
who gets to choke on pie?

k bye
k bye
k bye
k bye
k
bye
hhhhhhhhhhhhh

ladies and gentlemen
it's those lovable lads from liverpool
comin atcha with funkyfresh moves
turning into robot butterflies
and exploding into cotton candy pinwheel sparks and such
daaaaaaamn
i love whatever that chick just handed me

Larry the Misanthropic Dragonoid

Drawn at work.

Fatcell Man & Li'l *2

Drawn at work.

MAZELTOV!

Gigantic scans of the notes for the wedding ceremony I performed for my friends Kim & Aaron yesterday have been posted on my Flickr page.

wargame

I'm playing an HO-scale miniature wargame with little clockwork ships and soldiers. A model harbor is built on a real pool of water, and the ships are able to cruise across the surface under their own power. The simulation is similar to the video game Advance Wars, except that the pieces all move simultaneously, in realtime.

My opponent is a megalomaniacal stranger who has just chased the entire home fleet out of the harbor with his attack ships. He gleefully sings to himself that the operation was "specially designed for the S.S. Nile," which I notice is the name of the very fast ship at the forefront of the attack. He and I both circle around the model harbor, contemplating our next moves without speaking to each other, without even looking directly at each other.

I walk next to the now-empty coastline and spot a single tiny policeman standing near a lighthouse. If I can get him to walk to the seaport a couple feet away without him being spotted by my opponent, I'll be able to reclaim the port and use it to manufacture more naval units. Peering over my shoulder, I surreptitiously tap the policeman to activate him, and I try to use my body to conceal him from my opponent's view.

guest comic by Joe Annabi

That's me on the right.

Elvis

"Tundra/Desert" by Modest Mouse

(click to enlarge.)

Dahlia, age 15

Meanwhile, on Monster Island

the heat is on

(click to enlarge.)