when badgers attack

I'm on a narrow concrete path somewhere in Corrales, with a cottonwood-lined embankment on my right and a chain-link fence on my left. I am sitting down, riding on a flat wooden plank mounted atop a small set of wheels. I am using my hands to propel myself, perhaps because my legs don't work. I am trying to escape from a group of mangy, angry badgers that are chasing me. At least, I assume they're badgers. They actually look more like skunks, except they're entirely black and they don't have faces. I'm not going very fast because I have to keep turning around to beat back the badgers as they try to jump on top of the plank and bite and scratch me.

After I woke up I decided that I should have done what Captain America would do: roll off the plank and use it as a shield to defend myself against the badgers, then turn it into a weapon to beat them to death with.